Fight 2 Survive

Hey everyone ! Sorry for basically not taking part in my blog duties. Things have been really hectic.

To start I’ve been paying bills and being a Responsible adult but not before doing some irresponsible things and then just juggling everything life has to offer as far as crazy life things go.

But today we aren’t talking about that; today we are talking about Fight 2 Survive; a anxiety and depression support blog and group run by my good friend: Mariah.

F2S is a blog/group dedicated to those going through depression and anxiety, it provides an escape from the hardships of life in the form of uplifting posts and helpful advise on how to tackle your struggles in this field.

More and more adults and teens are affected by depression every year and the number just keeps climbing.

In response to that, things like suicide prevention and self love are one of the many things this blog is dedicated to.

Mariah, the creator of said site, had gone through hell and back if I haven’t mentioned it before. She has dealt with these things personally and has taken steps to strive and survive her situation which had in turn inspired her to start this whole thing.

If you want to learn more and perhaps follow her blog click the link below:

https://fight2surviv3.wixsite.com/fighttosurvive

And don’t forget to like her Facebook page:

https://m.facebook.com/F2S28672960/

so the site can get more traffic flow in the web, she plans on reaching as many people as she can. And the more people she can reach the better our chances are at preventing just one more person from self harming or helping someone in a crisis.

Old friends and New

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Sometimes I tend to stray from the whole idea of the blog and just talk about personal things. There’s nothing wrong with this, of course, but I do feel nothing is ever truly yours until you make it personal.

Back in high school I had plenty of friends or acquaintances that enjoyed my company and I theirs.

It was fun being sorta popular, sort of in cahoots with the punks and rejects scene. That may not have been popular, more well known than anything. Nearly everyone in my grade knew me and that felt like popularity to me. Obviously I wasn’t a snob or some quarterback or cheerleader. I was just the friendly person that was everyone’s friend.

But once high school ended I kept in touch with a few friends. A lot of them I follow on social media and I get a peek into their lives every so often. It is nice but artificial, I sometimes feel like leaving a like on Facebook is enough to let them know I still think of them or that I’m still their friend. But I know that’s not friendship.

It’s sad but high school friends fade, the select few have become my very good friends even today along with some of my new friends.

My new friends are a different story, they are all friends through social media, only the awesome few will want to make the effort to see me in person. Once in person contact us established I’ve officially marked them as a friend.

That seems like a fair way to see if someone’s a friend, I think. After all just friendship about putting the effort into seeing someone and being there for the other?

I think so…

Spotlight: Liv’s Corner (this blog in podcast form)

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I might have told you all this but I run a podcast called Liv’s Corner. I used to use this outlet as a sort of trans advocacy and discussion podcast, but as of late it’s become something different.

Let me explain, within the podcast I did an episode where I explained that if your obsessed with your identity as a trans person it becomes unhealthy, you start to give off the impression that you are a one track repeat of the same thought: “TRANS TRANS TRANS TRANS.. etc” and it gets annoying.

You soon start to become just trans stuff all the time when that is only part of your identity, an extension, you lose sight of who you are as a person and that’s where it becomes unhealthy.

See you can be a trans advocate and speak out to it whenever, you don’t need to have a specific outlet to speak of it, you can do it all the time or whenever you feel like it. And trust me when I say not talking about it doesn’t make it go away, I’m still a girl and always will be. Because this is who I feel most comfortable as.

So in turn my podcast has become a sort of talk show about life and just the general day to day bullshit we deal with as adults.

I will have episodes on a numerous amount of topics from paying bills to getting off your ass and doing dishes, the works.

I do plan on trying to find a willing cohost but for now it’s me and whenever I grab opportunities to have guests along I will do that too.

So if you want a more loud and proud and rather more funny version of this blog for your ear holes , head on over to your nearest Spotify app, anchor, Apple casts or where you get podcasts and search for Liv’s Corner! Also the show generates revenue from the ads I post in the middle of the show or beginning of it so by simply pressing play you are contributing to supporting the podcast ! Thank you !

Furniture At Last part 2: Stress

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So as promised; part 2:

The time getting my furniture into my apartment became a shit day super fast.

My life has a stupid reputation for turning good days bad regardless of it being my own fault or not. I’m just a victim of occasional circumstances sadly. But in this story I’m not the victim.

After we have successfully completed the reconstruction of my furniture and I had a complete home Mariah, Cory, Andy and I decided it was time to kick back and grab some noms from Walmart. While we did all of this my gf: Jonelle was tying desperately to stay up so she could come over and hang out ( that didn’t pan out sadly because she was too tired to come over and we didn’t get back in to my place till 11). That sent the kicker into a sort of bad night for me but I could live if it hadn’t been for what was to come.

Mariah and Cory were going their separate ways while I was to chill at my place and Andy would spend the night with me. Once home with secured snacks and drinks, I finally brought up something that’s been egging me all day; my electric bill.

See I have been having issues not being able to pay them off all at once. Other pressing matters played to me skipping out on my bills but that’s a post for later.

I was going to ask Mariah to cover me and once I did in the car she willingly agreed.

As helpful as my best friend was I can understand how absolutely fed up she was with me.

My electricity was going to be shut off without her help so my ability to press on the wrong buttons was not helpful. I have waited the entire day to bring it up and I should have done it sooner. Not to mention things were winding down so to add on to her stress ( that is the stress of trying to obtain a new apartment herself) was in of itself a extremely bad idea.

The reaction of my pressing mater resulted into her being over the top angry when her two tires blew out and landed her in a ditch somewhere in Tucson.

I don’t know how she got back to Cory’s home later in the night but she did. Before then however I received a texted out embodiment of Mariah’s rage. Needless to say I didn’t help at all.

The accident, though no one was hurt thank god, left Mariah’s car in bad shape, over 2grands worth of repairs are needed and I was the straw that broke the back of Mariah’s rage.

I know you are looking at this post and back at me thinking that this wasn’t my fault and that I had no part to play, especially since this happened after me and Andy were dropped off at my place.

But i did have a part to play, I’ve caused her so much stress whether intentional or not over the past 7 years. Needless to say I suffer from being the occasional dumbass, having superb awkward moments and having less than good timing. Top that with a dash of clumsy and a sprinkle of irresponsibility and you get me. Oh and let’s not forget the extra arrogance and self centered for taste.

Case and point I am the reason Mariah is stretched so thin.

I owe everything to her because of it and I just really wish I could change somehow. I just don’t know exactly how.

But hey I guess this is a good first step? Recognizing there’s a problem is the first step to recovery after all

Spotlight Post: Squall

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I know I promised I would tell part 2 of what happened after I moved my furniture but that can wait.

I wanted to talk about a very specific person in my life and i think he deserves his own post here.

Since the beginning of my relationship with Mariah I have know her life long friend and cat : Squall, he is and always has been there for her and as of late he’s been there for me too.

See, he is much more than a cat I have always believed he has emotions like all animals and humans do. Hell squall will go as far as to act like a human as well. He’s so much more than a simple cat and there’s so much more to him that meets the eye.

I have tried to care for him and have been a struggling lately since his diagnoses of diabetes.

See caring for a cat with diabetes takes a lot out of your life and plans and whatever because no matter what they become the priority.

I’ve recently been told he wasn’t looking so good and needs better care.

I have, essentially been failing him and my best friend and I’ve just been tired of letting everyone down.

I guess what I’m saying is: this beautiful, sassy and temperamental fuzz ball means the damn world to me. I will try harder to care for him but some situations are out of my control. May god help me try to smooth my way around these complications.

But so help me I’m gonna make sure this little guy is around for a couple more years. Hopefully longer. Lord knows I’ll cry myself to sleep every night if I fail.

So treat your cat friends with love and respect and kindness because you never know when they won’t be around any longer.

Furniture At Last !!!

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First, before I start this post, I want to say how sorry I am for not posting for a week. To say I was busy would be a bit of an understatement.

But alas, I am here and probably with more content and ideas ahead for you lovely readers.

So as you may not know the first two months living in my new quarters have been empty in a sense. I’ve had to use couch cushions from a now present couch as seats for the living room. The carpeted floors were my bed and most of the space in my apartment had yet to been filled by items that weren’t made of cardboard or doubled as storage containers.

Believe me living was awkward in that place, weeks of watching movies and playing video games without any resemblance of a comfort zone really bugged me.

Not that I was not thankful for my new place more so I felt like a squatter with a lease at the nearest vacant building. (An exaggeration of course but you know what I mean)

Point is: it wasn’t comfortable.

Then came Andy: who told me along with Mariah that today was furniture day and I should be ready to go grab my furniture at the old place.

Now I was more than thrilled she was coming over to take me to pick up my furniture. The only down side is … I was cooking my dinner at the time.

The chicken I had been making was still slightly pink and tough by the time she got to me and in a panic I turned off the stove and shoved the pan containing chicken into the sizeable microwave I own. So that the cats (Squall or Damian in particular) don’t make away with my chicken.

Once out and ready to go we start loading all the stuff up at the old place in a separate car that Mariah’s grandmother provided. It was an older red Chevy model with a detachable roof for the truck’s bed.

It was a giant hunk of metal capable of performing the same job as a U-Haul and had enough space to pack small loads of large furniture at a time.

Joining me and Andy was Mariah and her boyfriend Cory. I was grateful to all of them honestly I would have not done any of it without them (quite literally).

The move took up the entire day, more than a hundred puns exchanged, songs sung and fun times were put into that day. My last day there in my old spacious apartment (which was being traded off for my now close-quartered and not-so-spacious apartment) was nice.

To commemorate the day we took goofy photos with the wooden frame that would normally be placed under my box spring for my bed. Using the wood bars displayed we acted like goofy prisoners and posed in front of the phone camera that Mariah’s boyfriend was given to take the picture.

‘The above image you see is the result.

In order from left to right (me, Olivia) (Andy/Amanda) and finally (Mariah)

It was a great day for most of us. (I’ll save the other part of that day for a different post)

Like I said everyone. I have more ideas for content so look forward to more posts being made and put up every Friday and Saturday. Thanks for reading and tune in next time for part 2 of the moving in day where I will also reveal what happened to my chicken in the microwave (spoiler it came out tough after being fully cooked… not my best chicken ever made but will do for the time being)

Great Start

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I am just absolutely amazing right now.

Remember I talked about my friend Jonelle? Well now she’s more than a friend me and her are now dating. In the most strangest way though. See we started as FWB, well part of the B is having sex or at least doing incredibly gay girl on girl stuff.

During one of these times I was giggly and horny but also super happy to be with her.

In the heat of the moment I let it slip out that I love her.

Now everyone and their mother is cringing at me at this, I know.

“Why Liv?! That is such a turn off! Why would you do that?!”

See I thought that too but in the brief pause that followed she smiled uncontrollably, teased me a little: “So you love me, huh?” I laugh and silence her with a shift in movement “down there”. We laugh and continue and finish,.

Afterwards I asked her about it and she responded: “No it’s cool, I think your great too.” I just glare at her jokingly. “Ha ha, I love you too.”

I was on the fucking moon at that point.

This woman makes me light up, when we kiss it’s just right, the sparks fly like there was nothing like it!

She is the perfect start to the new year for me, who knew I would land in a relationship in the start of 2019?

Oh in other news I got new jeans that, according to Jo, make my ass look hot. Feeling pretty good about this year so far.

NEW YEARS PSA

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Okay now we all want to get shitfaced and wild right? I mean who wouldn’t? It is NEW YEARS EVE for crying out loud!

But there are certain precautions to take for tonight.

Yes, I am doing a PSA so shut up, quite your groaning and moaning and read. (save the moaning for when your getting laid tonight *wink wink* )

Okay; rule one don’t drink and drive, it’s pretty standard really. Always have a designated driver, or if you don’t want to have your friend be left out of the fun, put aside money for an Uber or a Lyft home. If all else fails and you spend that money; call your parents or anyone in your contacts with a car to give you a ride. The last thing your folks or friends want is a dead relative/buddy in the beginning of the new year because of a drunk driving incident.

BUT I’M NOT DONE YET THERE’S MORE!

See drinking isn’t the only topic up for discussion here! Sex, wear the rubber,FUCKING WEAR THE RUBBER! No pun intended. You don’t know who’s got what and as sexy as the person your gonna get with is, it’s not worth not protecting yourself. And guys, ladies too, CONSENT IS EVERYTHING!!! Be sure you got a yes, not a maybe, not a drunken “Sure. why the fuck not?” or a hesitant “okay..” That better be a for sure yes, or else, in the words of the great Liam Neeson:

“I will find you and I will kill you…”

JK but I really hope you keep that in mind.

Lastly, and this is very important: Don’t do hard drugs, as fun as it sounds, weed and cigs and alcohol are all I will support as far as vices go. Just don’t smoke meth or snort coke, that is not a good way to start the new year.

But most importantly enjoy tonight, the end of 2018 signifies the end of a shitty year for most I know, but the beginning of a fresh start in 2019. Who knows what mystery or wonder will be bestowed upon us in the new year? Hopefully it’s just a normal year for everyone, honestly we could all use a little normal, am I right?

Well that’s all; have a Happy New Years Eve everyone! Love you all

New Year, New-ish me ?

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New year, new me! I’m honestly hoping this is true in my case.

You scroll through Instagram and whatever and you see all these people and funny videos explaining how bullshit that saying is.

Well I can confirm this..

For the past 5 or so years I have made resolutions before the new year to sort of satiate that fulfilling feeling inside that validates my desire to change for the better.

2014:

I want to live on my own and be independent !

Well, this sort of didn’t happen till about four years later, Liv. Sorry to burst you’re bubble.

2015-2017 (because I always made a point to do this but never did):

Publish a book!

Yeah well… this got about halfway through seeing as I only wrote maybe three books but never published them.. (bad Liv!)

2018:

Transition successfully and get on HRT! (this one was the only one that came through thank God!)

But now here I am, the tail end of 2018, new goals need to be made otherwise I’m striving aimlessly for whatever and that is never a good thing.

Remember my post about making plans but don’t expect the outcome to be so exact? Yeah well this applies here.

I need to be able to make goals that are both realistic and yet self improving! After all there is a subtle difference between following your dreams and pulling through with a new years resolutions. Not that I’m saying all dreams are unrealistic, just sometimes not practical and tend to miss all the small fine prints when you are too focused on the big goal.

Therefore I present to you my new years resolutions list for 2019:

· Improve writing skills

· Continue to blog for “Liv For The Moment”

· Start up podcast again and commit to a weekly posting schedule

· BUDGET PROPERLY!!

· Be more responsible

Very simple right? Well wrong it’s not. These all address an issue I’ve had in the past. For example: commitment to a project or my irresponsible behavior.

To me the first step to any dream is to improve yourself in the manner that can help your dream become a real thing. My issue in commitment or responsibility makes doing anything fairly difficult and hard to keep up with.

But hopefully this year I can turn all that around.

I hope you guys/gals/ and nonbinary pals (Yes, I watch Thomas Sanders, who doesn’t?) will be able to follow through with your resolutions too!

Whether it’s to lose weight, graduate college, or to just simply get out more and be social, remember your good pal Olivia (that’s me) believes in you, just as you should believe in yourselves.

Happy New Year ! And I’ll see you all in January 🙂

Let’s talk about Sex

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I mean, you know as well as I do that this post was coming. So anyone younger than 18 y/o please feel free to exit this post.

So this is more of a fun I want to nag at you about sex stuff for a minute post. Don’t worry this also falls into my journey of becoming a independent woman. What would surprise you is that taking control of ones sex life is very important, especially now.

It used to be for me that I would turn to my gf (now ex) for it all the time and I wasn’t all that in a bag of chips. I was always on to the same old technique, never having explored myself sexually other than missionary.

It wasn’t until about a few months ago I started getting curious about all ways and every way. My fucking world opened up, literally.

To put this into perspective, I’ve discovered how good I was at sucking off women and men alike (Yes, women have dicks, I am amongst the few and sort of proud? Don’t get me wrong, still have genital dysphoria but damn is it just useful as fuck in the bedroom!)

I already knew I could give oral to a cis girl, but my experience needed to branch out so I sucked it up (pun intended) and gave it hell. Now I realize I don’t like men much, but I’m down to give head to women, ALL WOMEN. Not just cis girls 😉

Then came me trying anal (hell no for me it hurts too much), BDSM (call me mistress ^-^), 69 (J), getting my ass eaten (eh, but hell no for me giving it from that angle), and that about sums up my sexual experience thus far.

But I didn’t write all that to express that I can be a bit of a slut, nope there’s an ulterior reason for why I list off my experiences.

HRT (Hormone Replacement Therapy) is the medication regimen I take to replace my testosterone with estrogen and will allow my body, over the course of time, to experience new things and to change in many ways. You can look up a full list of possible changes that I am going through at the moment. One of the more frequent questions I hear about this “second puberty” if you will, is this: Does HRT decrease or increase your libido or sex drive?

It’s a fifty/fifty gamble really. Many have said yes and they are unable to even get an erection over time. However, for others, sex drive actually increases and the genital area becomes super sensitive or at least more places become “turn on points” like the developing breasts and just various parts of the body.

This is especially true for me.

I just find it awesome that my body has changed to the point where sex isn’t just something I crave, but has become much more fun!

I don’t know the exact science but the effect is there.

Which brings me to my other point:

I HAVEN’T BEEN LAID IN SO LONG!!! It’s been a couple weeks and a girl has to have fun. So I discovered not too long ago: “Hey, I can have people over! I have my own place after all!” of course I am always safe and I make sure everyone is clean. BUT.. the moment something looks like its gonna happen, something gets in the way and I just end up finishing myself off in the bathroom.

So be aware my fellow 18 and uppers: Just cause you can, doesn’t mean it’s guaranteed to happen. In short: life is a bitch. ESPECIALY sex life.

Missing Family This Christmas

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Christmas is a time of love, joy, friends and family. A time of giving and enjoying each other and forgetting our worries for the season.

Some of us, especially in the lgbtq+ community, don’t have a family or parts of their family or even some friends.

We’ve all made sacrifices for our happiness. And we have all endured some hardships.

Trust me, I am a gay trans woman who lives on her own and has lost her father’s love and affection because of this, I know this pain.

The story of my father is simple, he just simply didn’t understand and responded badly. We don’t talk at all now, we don’t even exchange happy birthdays or even Merry Christmas’s. This was largely because he refuses to speak to me. But I know and understand his feelings.

Even in this, now the second Christmas I have not seen him or visited or even talked to him, I wish him all the happiness and love in the world. Despite our disagreements. To all the family I have left behind because of this, Merry Christmas I love you all, and to my little sister Victoria, it is with a heavy heart I say we may not see each other again until you’re older.

It pains me to know I will not be hearing from you until you learn to sneak behind your mother’s and our dad’s back to create a Snapchat to look for me on it. Even then that’s a long way away I look forward to that day.

I know you don’t understand why I’m gone or why we haven’t talked and it pains me to not be able to talk to you. I love you Victoria, you’re my sister and you always will be and I wish you a merry Christmas and a happy new year especially. You too dad. I miss you guys so much. And I pray for all of you.

Now I’m not the only person suffering these kinds of hardships this holiday season.

So please understand your families who have not seen or heard from you or vice versa. As long as there is love in your heart and someone to give your love too and that includes yourself, You are never truly alone.

Especially on Christmas. Or the holidays or whatever have you.

Merry Christmas and Happy holidays everyone. I won’t be writing until maybe Friday. So thanks so far for the beginning of something new and good I’ll post before the new year. Goodnight I love you guys

Liv a little

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We set ourselves up to expect a certain outcome. Be it a promotion or maybe a relationship from a friendship. We are almost always planning.

What I’ve learned, especially this past week, is that nothing is certain.

Just yesterday I was expecting my good friend Jonelle and I to jump into a relationship after meeting in person for the first time ever (we had chatted online for the better part of a year so I already felt very much acquainted with her.)

But I’m starting to see we are better friends than I thought. See I was crushing on her like crazy; But I suppose it was a lost cause seeing as she showed little interest in that area.

Either way I’m glad I have another friend here in Tucson.

Next to that I was so sure I was gonna end this year with a new beginning in love. Thinking I had found someone to care about again.

I guess you can say I felt lonely…

I am lonely.

Of course I don’t mean I have no one to talk to. I have plenty of friends. But I guess I’m not lonely in that sense.

To top it off this newly discovered uncertainty; I’m really starting to understand my sexuality.

The reason why I’m not into the guys I see are well because I very well just might be gay. I don’t oogle over men and I’m not easily swoon.

When I experience affection from other men or like I kiss them or I have sex with them they never make me feel right. Sure I get aroused by few but they have just, haven’t done it in for me.

I suppose I was more attracted to the thought of pleasing them and being a little deviant in the bedroom. But ultimately I did not want to be romantically involved.

It’s been a long few months but I think I understand now. Not too mention I feel more comfortable and safe with other girls, like I feel like I can fall for them and I could feel good about it.

As for everything else plans have altered.

Mariah is moving out this weekend to a friends place and temporarily spending nights there until she can afford her own place.

I felt a little insulted at first when she stated that my home didn’t feel like home to her, but now I seem to understand.

The original plan, was that she was going to live with me until she landed a new place up town, where she truly felt home.

But like I said, nothing is certain, and no plan is going to follow through exactly.

Life lesson of the day?

Just go with it. Make plans but never expect the outcome.

It may be negative or positive, it may even lead to self discovery. But wherever your plan may lead, expect the unexpected and for gods sake,Live a little.

Liv to Sleep

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Remember when you were younger and in elementary school? All you wanted to do was to stay up and watch Tv?

Heaven knows that “bedtime” was your least favorite word.

Once sent to bed you would pout until you eventually fell asleep, quite easily might I add.

Well needless to say I envy younger me’s ability to fall asleep so easily. Without a damn thing to worry myself, I was a heavy sleeper and had crazy dreams and would still wake up well rested.

That was then however, this is now.

Of course I still like staying up late when I had no responsibilities to tend to the next day. So hours of video games and Netflix sounded super well some nights.

But here’s where my time management sucks ass: sometimes I even can’t help but go to bed at a late time on work nights. Not that it’s intentional it’s more like a battle, between responsible me and the kid in me. I valued bedtime just not when I really had my heart set on doing something that would unfortunately take me in to the late hours of night.

To top off my battle of me versus me I had trouble falling asleep in general.

Even now my anxieties and minor problems with the damnedest things keep me up at night!

For instance:

• will I be able to pay the electric bill ?

• Do my cats have enough food for the week?

• Am I sick?

• How am I gonna catch up with my Medical debt

• WILL I HAVE ENOUGH MONEY FOR CHRISTMAS PRESENTS ?

The stresses of everyday life can wreck havoc on the mental state when trying to sleep so mix that with a boatload of anxiety. And you get me a sleepless wreck.

This is one of the many ways I need to grow up. Sometimes sleep is important and going to bed early is a good thing.

It’s kind of funny; even as I write this it is hours past my bed time and I am still writing this damn post ! Haha I guess the most stubborn habits tend to get a hold of you while you try to fix them.

Let’s just hope my daily coffee will be enough to wake me up from my horrible decision to stay up late.

Liv and Let Love

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What’s one of the most common things you see in movies about being an independent bachelorette? Well, if you don’t know I’ll tell you.

What ends up becoming the norm of any and all romantic comedies or just straight up millennial films, is the constant and active love life, with several people or just one person at a time.

Don’t get me wrong, I do not want to have one night stands or go drinking heavily with guys and girls alike. I’m not that kind of gal.

But I do want to go on dates and every so often want to have some fun in the bedroom.

But as of late the guys I take home (and yes they are men, carefully chosen and clean thank god) are more or less not my type. Sure as a trans girl it’s gonna be hard to find somebody who is both really cool with it and finds you attractive. But when one such as myself wakes up the next morning to find I’m not into the guy, it gets complicated.

And I know how this sounds: “Oh the trans girl isn’t happy with what she’s got. So unsatisfied blah blah ungrateful blah blah you won’t find another- well stop that shit, because that’s not what I’m saying at all.

Let me start by saying: just because I’m trans it does not justify the man’s or woman’s in questions ability or possible want to drop me because of my genitals. Tbh it’s not cool to assume us trans girls always have to settle. Our looks or what’s in our pants doesn’t trap us in eternal settlement of the next guy or girl to come around.

Second it’s not that I’m not satisfied I just go after the person I think is really cool… for like three days… for some fucked up reason my brain turns my dates into the “love of my life” then after two or three days it starts to think: “wait.. do I really want this ?” And it’s just confusing.

In short I have no idea what I’m looking for.

Eventually I want to settle down with a girl or guy, but both my heart and brain and soul have to be in it.

Otherwise, what is the point ??

I don’t know call it me being picky or just unsure or maybe romantically challenged.

But I want things and need things.

They just never seem to be all in the same person at a time.

How It Started..

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Everyone’s life is different. Mine specifically is different.

I am 23 years old. Naturally at 23 you are already in college or have started a career. Or you have at least started making plans for a personal vacation with friends and carried them out.

I’ve done all the above minus going to college ( I actually nailed a pretty decent job without having to go to college, so I suppose I’m lucky?).

The only thing I haven’t done yet in the entirety of my adult life is live on my own. No I don’t live with parents. I have, for the past 5 years of my life, lived with my ex-girlfriend/best friend.

See we started out as a couple in high school and had plans to move out of our parents places and into our own place. We enjoyed and didn’t enjoy 5 years living with each other. As a result of my underdeveloped maturity and responsibility, My gf decided to take on the finances in both our lives and I willingly agreed.

See that’s already a big no no. Already, instead of a partner she became a parental figure for me. Being that she’s supposed to be my girlfriend this was a little embarrassing. Fast forward a bit, we have a few good times and a lot of bad ones. Life then decides to throw a curveball in the form of self discovery.

We breakup and decide to be friends after I revealed I’m transitioning to become more like the girl I am and less like the guy I was, or never was. That’s right folks! I’m one of the many trans girls whose life turned for the better / worse post coming out. Go figure.

Anyways, shortly thereafter we decided to split, be on our own and find our independence since we have never truly been alone since high school.

Which leads me to this moment.

This is my story, my post-by-post experience of me becoming independent and taking life by the horns and hoping to God I don’t slip up.

Come along on my lifelong Journey into real adulthood. Will you care to join me?